Entering 2015

new yearHi all. The time of the year has come when we make those resolutions, to be better people, to drink less, to exercise more, to be that person you really want to be or whatever resolutions you’ve made.

I don’t make resolutions. My theory for some years has been that I am always striving to be the best me that I can be, I don’t want to make a big deal for New Year or Lent.

Over the last 12 months I’ve gained a few pounds, I’ve ‘broken-up’ with the scale,  I seem to be finding ‘me’ again.  That girl who is fun, is part of the crowd, is kind and will do anything for anyone who so much as gives her the time of day.

For too long I’ve been afraid of being that person – I don’t measure up; I can’t put myself forward because someone out there will do it better; I want to do kind and helpful things, but chicken out because it might not be good enough or might not be well received.

Now, I’ve started to put myself forward for stuff at work; I take homemade goodies to friends when they are under the weather; I bought a few extra Christmas presents for people when I saw something I knew they would like; I’ve tried to make dreams come true.

So why is there a part of me which longs to be that skinny, afraid girl who was constantly measuring herself against other people and finding herself wanting?

I guess that is the nature of the Eating Disorder.  It always finds me wanting. However, as I’ve broken so many habits this year, I guess that voice will get quieter as the real me shines through.

I wish you all the best for 2015 – may it be a happy, healthy year for you and I hope you make all your dreams come true! xxx

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